Hi, I'm back again. Nothing new to report. just felt like posting since it's been forever and a day. Also I'm thinking to I want to reach out to other people as a means to get over this bad funk I've plunged myself head first into. But I refuse to make this an angsty-filled post. Instead I want to talk about whats going on the world.

Obama's president. Yay! There aren't adequate enough words to describe how happy I am about this. I'm proud to say that this is my first time ever voting. Admittedly I was 21 during the 2004 election and could have voted but never got around to registering. I don't know if I could attribute that more to apathy or more ambivalence about the state of affairs during that time. I understood what both sides were saying, but where I stood on either side was still somewhat elusive. So I didn't vote. But now, well I'm not so blind anymore and I will be proud to say that my first time voting was for a candidate that I felt very strongly about. That being said, I am feeling a touch of the election withdrawls. I followed the whole race pretty intensely all the way through the Democratic primaries and now that it's over I am feeling a bit out of sorts. Unintended consequence of too much media exposure, I suspect. But I find myself now watching news shows that I woulnd't have cared about a year ago just because I'm hoping to get a fix. It's become an addiction, more so than I ever meant it to. However, I did get Current out of the deal so can't complain.

The insomnia. I've started taking new sleep medication. It's been helping quite a bit, extremely fast acting but I am afraid it does affect my cognitive ability. So this post may not make a whole lot of sense come tommorow. Still I'm glad I did it. Expect more from me coming soon.

Eeek... I just realize how far behind my photosharings gotten... Big photo dump. You've been forewarned....

Truly there is no excuse for me this time.... None whatsoever. I looked and the last time I posted anything here was back in August. August. Grrrr to myself for allowing so much time to pass. But I can't say this time that I haven't done anything with the months that I've been lurking. I finally finished and got a functional website up and running. You know the one I've been talking about needing to get done for like 2 years now. Well I finally managed to let go of all the anxiety that it was causing me to create and came up with something that I can say I actually like the look of... for how long really is the question though. But I've had it up and semi-functional for a while and I haven't gotten sick of it in the months that I've spent working on it off and on. So anyway if you would like to see the product of 2 years of anxiety take a gander @ orchid-noir.net. Not much to see there right now, just a good chunk of my photos and about me page and a little blog which I need to post more in as well (irk) but hey at least it's a starting point.

I promised myself that I wouldn't do this anymore but I feel like I must send this out to the all readable void here so... well here goes...
Okay, I've been in this kind of strange place lately, and I'm not sure what I want to do with myself... If I haven't expressed it before I suppose I should now, I hate my job... I mean HATE my job with an absolute passion. This really does seem to be my crux in my existence. I've had 4 jobs in my entire life all of which seem to get progressively worse than the last and all in different ways... It's almost comical really... They start out fine, always a vast improvement over the previous one and then like clockwork they all go to shit... I don't know maybe it's me... To be fair the first two were fast food which had about equivalent levels of torture... But these last two...GRRRRRRR... Now I know what you're probably thinking... Why don't you find another job? Well herein squats the toad... I'm making too much money. That's one thing I'll give the eternal pit of misery and dispair, if nothing else I'm not underpaid. I'm making good money. But it depends on whether or not it's worth the cost of my very soul. I want to go back to school.. Desparately want to go back to school. But I can't because the Evil Empire has such a stringent attendance policy that because I called in sick twice back in January and once in March I can't do that. That's right because 5 months ago I had such a bad migraine that I couldn't see the computer monitor properly, I can't change back to a schedule that would accomodate school. Sound right to you? So therefore my life belongs to said pit and I'm stuck... Not to mention that even if I go back to school I don't know what I want to do with myself anymore. What field I really want to go into... so I'm really stuck.. I hate being this way, not having any definite purpose, not that I really ever had any to begin with... But at least before I had a clearer vision of what was the right direction, now I can't even say I have that. So that's pretty much it... Time to go to sleep now.. maybe I'll have a dream about what I should do... But for now, so ends the whiney post. Hopefully I'll have something a little bit more substantial for you soon.

Lurking again.. Bad monkey bad monkey. I'm going to try to be more active... More active no more disappearing. Anyhow....
No new photo's.... seems like that all I've been using this for lately... It is sad indeed.. But it is true, no new photo's right now but I do have some sitting on the memory card of my camera but nothing really of note.. Just some shots of the dead side of Mt. St. Helens (the side of the mountain that blew out in the 1980 eruption) and one or two from the coast. You know as grand and epically beautiful as the Oregon coast is I think I've about exhausted all my options out there. Everythings pretty and you can only get so many shots of lighthouses... I want to take pictures of something different. I would really like to do some nightshots but unfortuately my Fuji lacks the ability to take the shutter as slow as I need it. I had inherited a Minolta x-370 from someone at work, but I do believe the solenoid busted and from what I understand it may almost be worth it to buy a new camera body rather than paying someone to fix it. And sadly the Nikon is no where near in sight.. T__T
In other news... the website is coming along... I actually need to finish up the content test the scripts and it should be ready to go live here very soon. Very exciting seeing as I haven't had a live website in almost two years...